1. 15:00 8th Jan 2014

    Notes: 226708

    Reblogged from studyandlove

    Rape culture is when I was six, and
    my brother punched my two front teeth out.
    Instead of reprimanding him, my mother
    said “Stefanie, what did you do to provoke him?”
    When my only defense was my
    mother whispering in my ear, “Honey, ignore him.
    Don’t rile him up. He just wants a reaction.”
    As if it was my sole purpose, the reason
    six-year-old me existed,
    was to not rile up my brother.
    It’s starts when we’re six, and ends
    when we grow up assuming the natural state of a man
    is a predator, and I must walk on eggshells, as to
    not “rile him up.” Right, mom?

    Rape culture is when through casual dinner conversation,
    my father says that women who get raped are asking for it.
    He says, “I see them on the streets of New York City,
    with their short skirts and heavy makeup. Asking for it.”
    When I used to be my father’s hero but
    will he think I was asking for it? (will he think)
    Will he think I deserved it?
    Will he hold me accountable or will he hold me,
    even though the touch of a man - especially my father’s -
    burns as if I were holding the sun in the palm of my hand.

    Rape culture is you were so ashamed, you thought it would
    be easier for your parents to find you dead,
    than to say, “Hey mom and dad,”
    It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t ask for it.
    I never asked for this attention, I never asked
    to be a target, to be weak because I was born with
    two X chromosomes, to walk in fear, to always look behind me,
    in front of me, next to me, I never asked to be the prey.
    I never wanted to spend my life being something
    someone feasts upon, a meal for the eternally starved.
    I do not want to hear about the way I taste anymore.
    I will not let you eat me alive.

    Rape culture is I shouldn’t defend my friend when
    an overaggressive frat boy has his hand on her ass,
    because standing up for her body “makes me a target.”
    Women are afraid to speak up, because
    they fear their own lives - but I’d rather take the hit
    than live in a culture of silence.
    I am told that I will always be the victim, pre-determined
    by the DNA in my weaker, softer body.
    I have birthing hips, not a fighter’s stance.
    I am genetically pre-dispositioned to lose every time.

    Rape culture is he was probably abused as a child.
    When he even has some form of a justification
    and all I have are the things that provoked him,
    and the scars from his touch are woven of the darkest
    and toughest strings, underneath the layer of my skin.
    Rape culture leaves me finding pieces of him left inside of me.
    A bone of his elbow. The cap of his knee.
    There is something so daunting in the way that I know it will take
    me years to methodically extract him from my body.
    And that twinge I will get sometimes in my arm fifteen years later?
    Proof of the past.
    Like a tattoo I didn’t ask for.
    Somehow I am permanently inked.

    Rape culture is you can’t wear that outfit anymore
    without feeling dirty, without feeling like
    you somehow earned it.
    You will feel like you are walking on knives,
    every time you wear the shoes
    you smashed his nose in with.
    Imaginary blood on the bottom of your heels,
    thinking, maybe this will heal me.
    Those shoes are your freedom,
    But the remains of a life long fight.
    You will always carry your heart,
    your passion, your absolute will to live,
    but also the shame and the guilt and the pain.
    I saved myself but I still feel like I’m walking on knives.

    Rape culture is “Stefanie, you weren’t really raped, you were
    one of the lucky ones.”
    Because my body wasn’t penetrated by a penis,
    but fingers instead, that I should feel lucky.
    I should get on my hands and knees and say, thank you.
    Thank you for being so kind.
    Rape culture is “things could have been worse.”
    “It’s been a month, Stefanie. Get out of bed.”
    “You’ll have to get over this eventually.”
    “Don’t let it ruin your life.”
    Rape culture is he told you that after he touched you,
    no one would ever want you again.
    And you believed him.

    Rape culture is telling your daughters not to get raped,
    instead of teaching your sons how to treat all women.
    That sex is not a right. You are not entitled to this.
    The worst possible thing you can call a woman is a
    slut, a whore, a bitch.
    The worst possible thing you can call a man is a
    bitch, a pussy, a girl.
    The worst thing you can call a girl is a girl.
    The worst thing you can call a guy is a girl.
    Being a woman is the ultimate rejection,
    the ultimate dismissal of strength and power, the
    absolute insult.
    When I have a daughter,
    I will tell her that she is not
    an insult.

    When I have a daughter, she will know how to fight.
    I will look at her like the sun when she comes home
    with anger in her fists.
    Because we are human beings and we do not
    always have to take what we are given.
    They all tell her not to fight fire with fire,
    but that is only because they are afraid of her flames.
    I will teach her the value of the word “no” so that
    when she hears it, she will not question it.
    My daughter,
    Don’t you dare apologize for the fierce love
    you have for yourself
    and the lengths you go to preserve it.

    My daughter,
    I am alive because of the fierce love I have
    for myself, and because my father taught me
    to protect that.
    He taught me that sometimes, I have to do
    my own bit of saving, pick myself off the
    ground and wipe the dirt off my face,
    because at the end of the day,
    there is only me.
    I am alive because my mother taught me
    to love myself.
    She taught me that I am an enigma - a
    mystery, a paradox, an unfinished masterpiece and
    I must love myself enough to see how I turn out.
    I am alive because even beaten, voiceless, and back
    against the wall, I knew there was an ounce of me
    worth fighting for.
    And for that, I thank my parents.

    Instead of teaching my daughter to cover herself up,
    I will show her how to be exposed.
    Because no is not “convince me”.
    No is not “I want it”.
    You call me,
    “Little lady, pretty girl, beautiful woman.”
    But I am not any of these things for you.
    I am exploding light,
    my daughter will be exploding light,
    and you,
    better cover your eyes.

    — 

    slk

    Rape Culture (Cover Your Eyes)

    (Source: aseriesofnouns)

     
  2. 20:04 1st Jan 2014

    Notes: 10

    Reblogged from

    devildork said: Why is it a problem for a guy to be running this blog. Nice Guys TM are disliked by EVERYBODY, not just women

    :

    good question. well i know i dislike them too haha, but they aren’t directly a problem for me. they’re not even in my dating pool. and i dunno, it just feels a bit weird for me to be a spokesperson against nice guys tm when i’ve never had nice guys tm harass me.

    i’ll never stop making fun of them, of course, but i think it would be even better for me to use my podium to let women’s voices be heard rather than it to be the straight dude show.

    on that note, i love submissions!

    http://www.blackgirldangerous.org/2013/09/no-more-allies/

     
  3. 15:00 9th Dec 2013

    Notes: 16723

    Reblogged from themonicabird

    Probably no man has ever troubled to imagine how strange his life would appear to himself if it were unrelentingly assessed in terms of his maleness; if everything he wore, said, or did had to be justified by reference to female approval; if he were compelled to regard himself, day in day out, not as a member of society, but merely (salva reverentia) as a virile member of society. If the centre of his dress-consciousness were his cod-piece, his education directed to making him a spirited lover and meek paterfamilias; his interests held to be natural only in so far as they were sexual. If from school and lecture-room, Press and pulpit, he heard the persistent outpouring of a shrill and scolding voice, bidding him remember his biological function. If he were vexed by continual advice how to add a rough male touch to his typing, how to be learned without losing his masculine appeal, how to combine chemical research with seduction, how to play bridge without incurring the suspicion of impotence. If, instead of allowing with a smile that “women prefer cavemen,” he felt the unrelenting pressure of a while social structure forcing him to order all his goings in conformity with that pronouncement.

    He would hear (and would he like hearing?) the female counterpart of Dr. P*** informing him: “I am no supporter of the Horseback Hall doctrine of ‘gun-tail, plough-tail and stud’ as the only spheres for masculine action; but we do need a more definite conception of the nature and scope of man’s life.” In any book on sociology he would find, after the main portion dealing with human needs and rights, a supplementary chapter devoted to “The Position of the Male in the Perfect State.” His newspaper would assist him with a “Men’s Corner,” telling him how, by the expenditure of a good deal of money and a couple of hours a day, he could attract the girls and retain his wife’s affection; and when he had succeeded in capturing a mate, his name would be taken from him, and society would present him with a special title to proclaim his achievement. People would write books called, “History of the Male,” or “Males of the Bible,” or “The Psychology of the Male,” and he would be regaled daily with headlines, such as “Gentleman-Doctor’s Discovery,” “Male-Secretary Wins Calcutta Sweep,” “Men-Artists at the Academy.” If he gave an interview to a reporter, or performed any unusual exploit, he would find it recorded in such terms as these: “Professor Bract, although a distinguished botanist, is not in any way an unmanly man. He has, in fact, a wife and seven children. Tall and burly, the hands with which he handles his delicate specimens are as gnarled and powerful as those of a Canadian lumberjack, and when I swilled beer with him in his laboratory, he bawled his conclusions at me in a strong, gruff voice that implemented the promise of his swaggering moustache.” […]

    He would be edified by solemn discussions about “Should Men Serve in Drapery Establishments?” and acrimonious ones about “Tea-Drinking Men”; by cross-shots of public affairs “from the masculine angle,” and by irritable correspondence about men who expose their anatomy on beaches (so masculine of them), conceal it in dressing-gowns (too feminine of them), think about nothing but women, pretend an unnatural indifference to women, exploit their sex to get jobs, lower the tone of the office by their sexless appearance, and generally fail to please a public opinion which demands the incompatible. And at dinner-parties he would hear the wheedling, unctuous, predatory female voice demand: “And why should you trouble your handsome little head about politics?”

    If, after a few centuries of this kind of treatment, the male was a little self-conscious, a little on the defensive, and a little bewildered about what was required of him, I should not blame him. If he presented the world with a major social problem, I should scarcely be surprised. It would be more surprising if he retained any rag of sanity and self-respect.

    — 

    From the 1947 Dorothy L. Sayers essay “The Human-Not-Quite-Human”

    oh my god, this is from 1947. doesn’t it show how much things HAVEN’T changed that I read through this whole thing assuming it was from a current article or essay, until I got to the date at the end? (via goodbye-courage)

    (Source: nanaea)

     
  4. 12:35 23rd Nov 2013

    Notes: 302

    Reblogged from mothernaturenetwork

    image: Download

    mothernaturenetwork:

'Hunger Games' fans rally to put odds in more Americans' favorThe second installment in “The Hunger Games” movie trilogy just hit theaters, but for some fans, “Catching Fire” is about more than just entertainment. Participants in the Harry Potter Alliance’s Odds In Our Favor movement seek to “hack” the media campaign promoting the movie to make sure the story’s message remains clear: The economic inequality of Panem isn’t fiction for millions of Americans today.Learn how you can join a district and make a difference.

The marketing for the Hunger Games is ridiculous and terrifying:
http://www.covergirl.com/capitolbeautystudio/catching-fire
http://www.sparksummit.com/2013/11/20/youll-have-to-kill-a-child-but-at-least-youll-look-good-doing-it/
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/capitol-control-the-irony-of-the-hunger-games-movie
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/the-hunger-games-anti-consumerism-message-is-no-match-for-cover-girl
And then there’s the “Reaping Day inspired style”:
“Stills from the movie don’t show our heroine wearing any sort of jewelry, but simple pearl earrings like these from Amazon($37) would look great with her updo.”
http://www.sheknows.com/beauty-and-style/articles/953749/the-hunger-games-reaping-day-inspired-style

    mothernaturenetwork:

    'Hunger Games' fans rally to put odds in more Americans' favor
    The second installment in “The Hunger Games” movie trilogy just hit theaters, but for some fans, “Catching Fire” is about more than just entertainment.
     
    Participants in the Harry Potter Alliance’s Odds In Our Favor movement seek to “hack” the media campaign promoting the movie to make sure the story’s message remains clear: The economic inequality of Panem isn’t fiction for millions of Americans today.

    Learn how you can join a district and make a difference.

    The marketing for the Hunger Games is ridiculous and terrifying:

    http://www.covergirl.com/capitolbeautystudio/catching-fire

    http://www.sparksummit.com/2013/11/20/youll-have-to-kill-a-child-but-at-least-youll-look-good-doing-it/

    http://bitchmagazine.org/post/capitol-control-the-irony-of-the-hunger-games-movie

    http://bitchmagazine.org/post/the-hunger-games-anti-consumerism-message-is-no-match-for-cover-girl

    And then there’s the “Reaping Day inspired style”:

    Stills from the movie don’t show our heroine wearing any sort of jewelry, but simple pearl earrings like these from Amazon($37) would look great with her updo.”

    http://www.sheknows.com/beauty-and-style/articles/953749/the-hunger-games-reaping-day-inspired-style

     
  5. 15:01 21st Nov 2013

    Notes: 2893

    Reblogged from the-perfect-drug

    agentotter:

    feministnoise:

    dudski:

    little-horse-colt-playing:

    baking-soda:

    doughnutdisco:

    Since it’s International Men’s Day, I asked a bunch of women who definitely exist to tell me styles men rock that they hate. (Inspired by this post.)

    image

    “I never really liked a man wearing an oxford. They always reminded me of Catholic school and…

    This pisses me off too much. D’you just want all men to cut about stark naked? Imagine if this was men talking about women’s fashion. Imagine the shit storm…

    GUYS Bridget’s post is great enough on its own, but the furious responses from people who didn’t click the link and don’t get the joke elevates it to ALL TIME HALL OF FAME STATUS. “IMAGINE IF THIS WAS MEN TALKING ABOUT WOMEN’S FASHION,” jesus, it’s too good.

    The comments on the reblogs for this catapult it from “satire” to “performance art.”

    Oh my god, they’re not even kidding, the original post is so hilarious I literally almost fell off my chair laughing (ARE YOU STORING ACORNS AND BERRIES JFC), but the REBLOGS. ARE. GOLD. “Oh what are we supposed to wear then?!” HAVE FUN ANSWERING THE IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION FELLAS.

     
  6. Varying degrees of illegality, but all pretty stupid. 

     
  7. Scary.  Scary but telling.

     
  8. 15:00 6th Nov 2013

    Notes: 252930

    Reblogged from the-perfect-drug

    maharetr:

    meghanconrad:

    so-nerdy-it-hurts:

    royahie:

    Piñata by Pages Matam (x)

    I love this message, but I really love seeing men of color saying things like this—not because they are less likely to believe these things or more likely to support rape apologism, but because white people tend to be the ones who are gifed about serious issues, white people are the ones whose quotes get passed around with thousands and thousands of notes, white people are the ones whose words are taken seriously.

    For a black person’s voice to be heard, it has to be stronger and clearer than a white person’s.

    Too often, the only time black people get this kind of attention is just when they’re funny or fit into some stereotype—when they can play the part of Mammy or Independent Black Woman or Sassy Black Friend.

    Also, I get that clicking and watching a video is a lot harder than looking at a gifset, but I would like to mention that this is one of those times when you really, really ought to click and watch the whole thing, because holy shit.

    Echoing Meghan, because holy shit. Gutting and important.

    (Source: emoticon1234)

     
  9. 15:00 5th Nov 2013

    Notes: 454

    Reblogged from wordsfromdani

    wordsfromdani:

You should question the perspectives and opinions you’ve been fed. 

    wordsfromdani:

    You should question the perspectives and opinions you’ve been fed. 

    (Source: grateful4dead)

     
  10. 15:00 4th Nov 2013

    Notes: 423410

    Reblogged from stephaniehiggs

    (Source: nicolasrefn)

     
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